Lord, keep my heart in tuned with yours

I have been home from Bolivia for a little over a week now. My heart longs to be back in there- holding that sweet baby boy. But I am here now, not there. So I am constantly praying that my mind will completely absorb every moment of everyday right here and right now. A series of events with a dear friend this weekend reminded me how precious this life is. I was reminded of how crucial it is to live every moment to the fullest- always serving and praising our Lord. I love that I have been blessed with such incredible opportunities to travel overseas. I love nothing more than getting to take my passions- Jesus & nursing- to other countries in desperate need of the two. But at the same time I am finding myself simply longing to go back or go on my next trip. In the meantime I am hoping to just get through whatever hoops I need to jump through here so I can move on to my next big trip. But the thing is that Jesus is just as much present here as He is there. The patients in my ER here or my classmates in school here, need to hear about the love and hope that the gospel brings, just as much as those thousands of miles away. So I have been diligently asking the Lord to focus my heart on today, while also preparing me for tomorrow.

I have been taking extra time to really seek out the Lord here at home. I am tired of being blinded by all my comfortable College Station life has to offer, distracting me of God's hand in EVERY single thing we do. So last week I quickly jumped back into the routine of school, work, and just everyday life. Saturday I woke up expecting nothing more or less than any other day here. But God had a different idea. I have been told hundreds of times about how God plans every second of everyday of our lives. And while I don't doubt that, I think I had convinced myself that there are chunks of time or insignificant decisions we make that God just doesn't choose to take part in. Because in my worldly and limited thought process, I imagine an uber powerful God- but one that has a lot to do! So there have got to be certain little things that He just does not concern himself with….

1) This is not Biblical thinking.
2) This is WRONG! And the Lord was sure to remind me of that this weekend. Every detail matters. He cares about it all. And His hand is in every little moment.

So Saturday. I get up and get ready to go babysit for a family that lives on the other side of my neighborhood. I have never been there before so I am irresponsibly watching the map on my phone intently as I navigate myself there. I miss my turn. "CRAP!" I mumble under my breath. So I turn a street later. Some good friends of mine live on this street that I took the wrong turn on. I look up and my heart sinks. You know that feeling of just utter helplessness and fear. It came over me so quickly when I saw ambulances and firetrucks outside my friend's house. I immediately pull into the driveway and don't even pull my keys out of the ignition before I am racing inside. My friends are married with two small children. I have no idea what could be going on behind that front door. I bust in, look to the left and see some lady I don't know holding both babies. A small amount of relief came over me. I look to the right to see paramedics in the bedroom. My friend- the mother- was found unresponsive. No one knew what was going on and her husband was at work. The medics were at a loss in that moment as to what was going on with their patient. Fortunately, I have come to know this friend of mine quite well over the last year, including knowing some of her medical history. So I turned to the medics to inform them of her diabetes, which is very well controlled, but the most probable culprit here. A few seconds later I have a paramedic confirm my worry- she was in hypoglycemic shock. While this is something that can take a diabetic's life, it is also quickly reversed when you have the right meds on hand. A few minutes later, my sweet friend was coming to. Scared to death- but she was going to be okay. Once we got her in the ambulance I was able to track down her husband at work. All I could tell him was that his wife was found unresponsive, but was now being transported. He asked me who had found her, and I realized at that point I had no idea how 911 was called, or who called them… I really didn't know much at all! So I took a deep breath and went to find the kids. The older daughter is 3 years old. But very bright for her age.

I asked her what had happened this morning. She told me mommy never woke up. The husband left for his early morning shift before the rest of the family got up. Well by noon, this little girl knew something was wrong with her mom. So she went outside the house to find help from a neighbor. The neighbor who helped was a 12 year old across the street who found it odd to see the two kids outside without their parents. So the 12 year old took the initiative to go across the street and investigate. SHE found my friend unresponsive in the bedroom, and she called 911. It was then a few minutes later that I took that oh so frustrating wrong turn that led me to their house in the midst of everything. SO…..because the Lord literally aligned every detail of that Saturday morning in such a way, my dear friend is alive and well tonight.

Later when the three of us were talking and processing the morning, we could not but be in total awe of how sovereign our God is. Of how present He is. Of how faithful He is. We talked about the scary reality of how the day likely would have ended if any more time had gone by without help. When we asked their 3 year old why she went outside, her response was…"I prayed that someone would help mommy. So God told me to go outside." So simply said, yet the most profound words I have ever heard. This innocent baby girl with incredible child like faith- the Lord used her to saved her mom's life. And she wasn't scared. She was very calm about the whole situation. In fact before I left the kids with the neighbor to go to the hospital, she gave me a big hug and told me that mommy would be okay. The 3 year old comforted me. Because that 3 year old is filled with an overwhelming amount of God's love.

A few days ago I was nostalgic about being home and back in my busy routine of everything. That was until the Lord inserted me into a situation where I would have no choice but to praise Him for His sovereignty over every detail of every moment. From a toddler recognizing her mom needed help, to going outside to find it, to the 12 year across the street taking initiative to investigate what she saw was odd, leading her to find my friend and call 911, to me taking a wrong turn, allowing me to inform medical personnel of her medical history. Every detail was woven together beautifully. My friend is okay and oh boy, was the Lord glorified.

But here is what has really hit me the last couple days since this all happened…every detail of everyday is woven together just as beautifully. But we don't take the time to realize it. We wake up, maybe remember to thank the Lord for the day, but then we continue on with our business, we get frustrated when we make wrong turns, and maybe that night we will reconvene with the Lord and process the day. Maybe. But a lot of the time that doesn't even happen for me. I am so so guilty of letting time slip by, forgetting to stay in tuned with what the Lord has planned for each moment. Sometimes though, sometimes God rocks our world. It's kinda like when you want to start over on an etch-a-sketch. You shake it with a little force and BAM…time to start over! I feel like this represents God's love for us, and His never-ending grace for us. I sinfully walk in my own ways. Hoping to just get through the here and now before I can be overseas again. But then He stops me in my tracks. He throws me into a scenario where I cannot at all deny all the goodness that He is. My etch-a-sketch of a heart was shaken clean this weekend during some very scary moments with a dear friend. As the adrenaline pumped through me, God's grace pumped even harder.

I laid down that night, realizing how distracted my heart had been just in the short week I had been home. My heart had not be in tune with my savior's because I was not fully embracing every moment. But when I realize every moment is designed by the creator of this world, there's not a second of it I want to miss out on. I want to be in such constant communication with our Father, that my every breath is taken for His glory. I cannot wait to get back to Bolivia in a few weeks, or to be done with school in a year, or to walk down the aisle one day, or to eventually hold my own baby in my arms- there are so many things in this life I look forward to; but I don't want to waste a second hoping tomorrow will get here. Because I only get to live today once. And my Father beautifully designed every part of today for His glory. It all has eternal value. All of it.