Ringing in the new year, Cambodian style!

There's nothing like celebrating the new year with a bunch of Cambodians at an outdoor restaurant, all singing karaoke! Literally the most hilarious thing I've ever experienced. We are just a couple hours away from 2014, and man we finished 2013 out strong today!

Over 600 patients were seen in our rural village clinic. We got quite the diversity today. Saw some rare Cambodian diseases and we were able to send three patients into the local hospital to receive life saving surgery next week. These cases were so encouraging. I have found it so frustrating that there are so many things we can diagnose, but not treat. For example today I heard an arrhythmia and had a patient with pretty definitive BPH. Both of which I consulted with some of our docs- nothing at all we can do. So frustrating. But I'm realizing that this isn't about saving lives, it's about touching lives. This is about a developing country seeing the light of Christ. While we know that a months worth of pain meds won't do much in the long run, it means the world to them. As we were driving away from the first day, my mom questioned how much good we had really done. Then we pulled up on the accident 10 minutes later. God has us here, for lots of reasons. I have been praying daily that my expectations and agendas be thrown away. I'm not here for me. I'm here for His glory, and His glory alone.

Tomorrow is a travel day. I'm actually headed to the coast. Beach clinic baby!! Mom is in Phomn Penh fitting amputees and teaching students. They are beyond grateful to have her here. 

Happy New Year, friends! 

Difficult moments, but a sustaining joy

This morning started out in such a refreshing way. A few of us went to a local preschool to do well checks. The kids were beyond cute and so fun. They spoke English, so that was super great. Myself and two other nurses tackled a room with 18 toddlers. It was chaos. I bartered all my stickers just to listen to heart and lungs and look in ears! The theme of this morning was pure and tangible joy, and it was just what we needed. 

After lunch we joined the rest of our team at a garbage dump. Thousands of Cambodians live in and around this dump. It's common for children to be killed by the incoming trash dumps while rummaging through the trash for their families. Unreal. It was such a privilege for us to serve this community. They were so grateful. That's one thing I've really noticed about this culture. Their gratitude is unbelievable. They aren't privileged, they aren't well off, so they are SO appreciative. Last night when we were working on those kids on the side of the road, the surrounding Cambodians were in total shock over what we were doing, and they could not stop thanking us. This culture really is characterized by kindness. 

The super hard part of today was when a mother rushed in with her newborn baby. She was 4 weeks old and weighed maybe 4-5 lbs. The mom's milk had dried up so she had no food for her baby. We could immediately see she was Down's syndrome and jaundiced. Upon listening to her heart we heard a murmur. Heart defects are common in downs kids, and generally are easily treated in the states. But in Cambodia, it's pretty much a death sentence. No pedi cardiologist, no breast milk or formula, and an immature liver. I held tight to that baby girl. Put her against my chest and prayed, realizing that's about the best I could do for her today. That was a very difficult moment. We preceded to tell her mother that she needed to get her baby to the local hospital immediately. Realistically, we probably know the outcome, but it was the baby's only hope. 

This trip really is changing my heart in so many ways. And so many sweet friendships have been made already. So much of our days are characterized by the harsh realities of this broken world, but there's always a deep rooted and sustaining joy- JESUS. 

Running traumas on the streets of Cambodia

Well. Today was...today was a lot of things. But God was ALWAYS there.  

We hit the road early this morning for a small village a little over an hour away. The morning started off in a really cool way. We have a Cambodian travel agent with us, whom my mom befriended on the bus this morning. After a few minutes of conversation I overheard her sharing with my mom about when she came to know The Lord. About 10% of the population here is Christian. It was so cool to hear how much this woman loves Jesus. She has been completely disowned by her Buddhist family, but that doesn't discourage her, it encourages her to spend more time with The Lord, praying for her parents and siblings. I was in awe. 

So when we pulled into clinic, the patients were lining up and gathering by the hundreds. We got off the bus, unsure what to think. Another pedi nurse and myself immediately reached for our stickers and started giving them out. The kids had no idea what a sticker was. We used a two room school to set up clinic. The bigger room was the treatment room. The breezeway was triage, and the smaller room was pharmacy. It was nonstop chaos for 10 hours. I cannot even count the number of patients I saw. Surprisingly, they were a pretty healthy community. A few super dehydrated patients the got some IV fluids, but for the most part we gave OTC pain meds, antibiotics, and I personally had a patient with a parasite. So that was different. All in all the day ran smoothly. We had a great group of Cambodian students translating. We couldn't have pulled clinic off without them. God was so present in every aspect of today, especially the end of the day. 

So the curve ball of the day...on our way home we were enjoying each other on the bus and sharing stories of our day. All of a sudden I hear my mom scream, "STOP THE BUS! OPEN FEMUR FRACTURE!!" We looked out the window on what was a horrific scene. A motorcycle ran into a truck. There were 5 bodies on the ground. Now imagine the most intense scene of the medical show you watch, and put that on the streets of Cambodia- that's what happened tonight. Many of us piled off the bus and sprinted across the road. We realized we needed any of all the medical supplies we had. So myself and a few others sprinted back down the road, tore apart our carefully packed medical bags, and ran back to the scene. We pronounced 3 people dead immediately, and moved on to the two that we had a chance to save. That was hard. One with an open femur fracture and an obvious radial deformity. It was obvious he was bleeding out and going into shock. The other guy was in a little better shape, but not much. I jumped in with the team on the more severe guy. We got IVs going, the leg splinted with bamboo and gauze, and we had his head bandaged up like crazy, doing everything we could to stop bleeding. It was a mess. We waited for almost an hour, in the dark, on the side of the road for an ambulance. If I turned around I would catch sight of one of the bodies of the young kids that didn't make it. The ambulance finally showed up (without a back board) and we loaded them up. But then the ambulance drivers wouldn't leave without $60 cash!! Are you kidding!?! So we all reached in out pockets in order to get these kids to the hospital. I'll never forget what I saw today. But it confirmed every urge in me to pursue trauma. It was also cool to see the Cambodians in total shock over this giant group of Americans jumping off buses to save lives. I hope and pray we were a light to these people tonight, despite the darkness of the tragedy. 

We got back on the bus in total shock. Silence overwhelmed us until we were able to start talking about what happened. 

So. That was today. And while it was hard, it truly was beautiful chaos. From 500 patients in clinic to the horrific roadside scene, God was so present in every moment. What are the odds of 3 buses full of medical personnel to pull up on such a scene. The odds are good when you have a God who isn't dependent on odds. 

Tomorrow we will be treating patients in the garbage dump where thousands live in the city. So I don't doubt the excitement of what the day will hold. 

The need for Him is so real

Oh. My. Goodness. The depravity of this city is unbelievable. Pictures I googled before coming here just did not do it justice. 

So we spent the day in and around Phnom Penh, doing tourist like stuff. Probably wise for us to take a day recovering from jet lag before taking other peoples lives into our hands, ya know. We started our morning at the Genocidal Killing Fields memorial and museums. In 1975...just a few years ago...millions of innocent Cambodians were captured and killed by a genocidal regime. So many children were beaten to death. There's this tree they took us to- it's where infants were hung and smashed against it. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON HERE!? Not only did this all actually happen...but it just happened! A girl came up to me and asked, "How do we even begin to fix our horrific world?" To that I replied, "We don't. We can't. The battle has already been won, we simply love and spread the gospel. Jesus is the only answer." I think she was taken aback by what seemed to be a passive and non-tangible solution. And I'm not a passive person. But when you think about it, spreading the gospel and loving others is not passive in the least. It's the most productive thing we as Christians can do. It's ETERNALLY productive. 

As we drove around the city we went past slum after slum after slum. With little shops set up out front, it's the family's only hope of making any sort of money. However, never did I see customers. There are children running around everywhere. Kids as young as two years old with no adult in sight. Not sure if they are orphaned, or what. Then again and again I saw kids making toys out of shoes (if they had them) in order to entertain themselves. 

So here's the deal. I have grown up in the suburban bubble. I attend the Christian bubble college. We just had Christmas. Which we all know in the states is the most commercialized and ridiculous time of year for Americans. So I come from there to this. My jaw is dropped. My heart is hurting. And I'm begging Jesus to return. 

If you have been to Africa, Asia, any developing country- you understand where I'm coming from in this moment. However if you have not, I encourage and challenge you to pray about where The Lord might have you go. I truly believe there are countries like this one to humble countries like ours. So come, be humbled. Being in a place like this makes you run to Jesus faster than you've ever run before. This place reinforces that He is truly the only hope. 

Tomorrow is the first clinic day, so we will see what the big guy has got in store. From what I'm feeling tonight, I have a hunch He's going to keep up the awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping, pace. And I'm pumped. 

(Below is a precious little boy working with his grandpa this morning.)

Joy is not promised to be tangible

I'M DONE. Two semesters of nursing school down. One of which we have been promised was the hardest one we will endure. Not only am I set free from studying for a month, I am looking at a calendar and realizing that two weeks from TODAY I will be flying out of Dallas and across the world.

I feel justified to say I have been put through hell and back this semester. But understand this, I-ME-MYSELF-I am responsible for the misery that has come from much of my time this semester. Why? Because joy is not promised to be tangible. Here's a breakdown of my thought process thus far...if I am successful, I will find joy. In order to be successful I must keep my 4.0, be a rockstar in clinicals, and never have to redo a patient simulation. Here's a breakdown of how the semester went...as far as I know I said goodbye to my 4.0 yesterday, I had some very rough clinical days, and had to redo a particular patient simulation THREE freaking times last week. So all that was going through my mind has been FAILURE FAILURE FAILURE.

For those who are unaware, here's how grades and passing nursing school works:
4.0 + PASSED NCLEX = NURSE
3.0 + PASSED NCLEX = NURSE
2.0 + PASSED NCLEX = NURSE

Think about every encounter you have had with a nurse. Now tell me, what were their GPAs? Point exactly. YOU DON'T KNOW! Because it doesn't matter. So you are thinking to yourself, "Elizabeth, what the heck is your problem then?!" That answer is simple.

PRIDE & SELFISHNESS

What does a 4.0 do for me practically? Nothing, other than give me the self satisfaction of perfection. Which ps...worldly perfection isn't even biblical. So there's that. And then selfishness. When I become more wrapped up in a number than I do in my patient care, that's selfish. I am not going to nursing school for me, it's for the service and glory of our Savior. He doesn't NEED me to be a nurse. He has called me here, so it's time I stop making it all about me! It's time I stop seeking joy outside of the Lord. Joy is not found in a tangible number on a test or transcript. Because here's the deal, when we seek joy outside of the Lord, that's known as idolatry. And that's sinful. Seeking joy in grades before Jesus, is just as sinful as seeking joy in drugs, alcohol, or sex. Yes, the consequences in each are different, but the heart issue is the same.

So today I am praising the Lord for His GRACE. I am praising Him for this season that is tough. Praising Him for the process of sanctification. And praising Him for the INCREDIBLE community I have been blessed with. Close friends and mentors that have prayed with, encouraged me, and been super frank with me when I needed it. 

More than anything I love that I can look at this season and know that it is not in vain. Not at all. How can God use a prideful and selfish heart to serve Him overseas. That's not the kind of servant He is looking for. In two weeks I am going to be treating patients whom live in absolute poverty. As I have been continually praying for the Lord to prepare my heart for this trip, I realize that is what He has been doing all semester. Teaching me that sustaining joy cannot be found outside of Him. We are setting up clinic in jungles, orphanages, and one day in an inter city garbage dump (pictures below), where thousands of people live. There won't be much tangible joy to be found. But what I think is so crucial for me to realize, is that the same God I worship here, is there. The same Prince of Peace, same Alpha & Omega, same Lord of lords. There is no reason to not find joy amongst the hurt and heartache we are going to see. And that's the whole purpose. Of everything we do. Is to share the joy we have found in Christ with EVERYONE we come into contact with. 

SO. It's been a hard semester. But oh my, have I been blessed and learned a lot. I have clung to this scripture for as long as I can remember now, "Humble yourself before the Lord, so that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your anxieties on Him, BECAUSE HE CARES FOR YOU!" --1 Peter 5:6-7. Y'all, God is so stinkin' good. And I love that He looks down at our sinful broken selves and simply says, "lean on me, trust me, follow me." He doesn't love us any more or any less, despite how awful we can be. Jesus is love. The more I get to know the character of God, the more sinful I see that I am, and the more abounding I get to experience His loving and graceful arms. 

Please join me in praising God for all that He has taught me this semester. Please continue to pray for our Cambodia team as a whole, as we really are days form departure. Pray for safe travels and good health. Pray that our mighty God is gloried in every move we make. Pray that we would push our own agendas to the side, and allow for the Holy Spirit to take over. God bless and have a very Merry Christmas! 

These pictures took my breath away. We will be serving here one of our days. Really puts our "troubles" in perspective.....

A small piece of what's to come

A snapshot of the kids I am about to get to go love on! 

Ruin Me

Ruin Me (Jeff Johnson Band)

Woe to me, I am unclean

A sinner found in your presence

I see you seated on your throne

Exalted, your glory surrounds you

Now the plans that I have made

Fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life, the plans that I made

Ruin desires for my own selfish gain

Destroy the idols that have taken your place

Til it's you alone I live for

You alone I live for 

Woe to me, I am unclean

A sinner found in your presence

I see you seated on your throne

Exalted, your glory surrounds you

Now the plans that I have made

Fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life, the plans that I made

Ruin desires for my own selfish gain

Destroy the idols that have taken your place

Til it's you alone I live for

You alone I live for 

Holy, holy is the Lord almighty

Holy is the Lord

yeah

Holy, holy is the Lord almighty

Holy is the Lord

Ruin my life, the plans that I made

Ruin desires for my own selfish gain

Destroy the idols that have taken your place

Til it's you alone I live for

You alone I live for

This song is the anthem of my life. I remember the first time I heard it. An atomic bomb of tears went off inside me. Standing there, worshiping my Savior, realizing I had so many plans that I had made. I'm a planner. I have been that way since I was born. And the Lord created that within me...He designed the type A crazed personality that I am, but not for my gain, but for His glory. 

I have attempted to be a blogger a handful of times in the past. It never really works out. But I am weeks away from one of the greatest adventures of my life. CAMBODIA. So I am hoping to be diligent in keeping up with what the Lord is doing on this site. We'll see. The Lord is about to revolutionize all that I know to be true about Him and this life. I am about to go into jungles, where children meet death far earlier than we in the states would ever accept to be okay. Right now I work in a hospital that opened 4 months ago. It's pristine. With all the newest and cleanest equipment you could imagine. There are chandeliers hanging in our lobby. (WHAT?!) Yep. But all that I have known for the last 20 years of my short life is about to be thrown to the wayside. I am about to truly understand what the weight of eternity has, as I walk into a country that has little hope and not much to cling to. 

This new fire in me for medical missions is a somewhat recent thing. Something that my eyes started to open up to when I began praying the lyrics of that song above. I have a little less than a year and a half before I graduate and am an RN (Real Nurse). That's nuts, but so exhilarating! If you asked me just a few months ago what my plans were, I could lay them out just perfectly for you...."Oh what do I want to do when I graduate? Well I'm definitely a pediatric nurse, and I LOVE trauma and critical care...so that will put me at a children's hospital in Dallas, Ft. Worth, or maybe even Houston or Austin. I have already looked into the new grad internships at every pedi hospital in the state of Texas. I'm not worried." Yep. Real life. Had it figured out. I wonder what goes through God's head when I lay MY plans out to people who ask. I feel like He sits there, arms crossed, maybe even rolling His eyes..."She doesn't even know what is in store. Oh the day that she lets go and lets ME direct her." I'm just going to stop right here and praise Him for His PATIENCE, GRACE, and LOVE. 

So what's been happening these last few months in my heart? A lot. Learning a lot about sacrificial love. Actually, isn't that what love is...sacrificial. There's no other kind outside of what the world tries to portray love as. So let's try that again... I have been learning a lot about LOVE. It was my senior year of high school that Jesus really started to mold my selfish heart into one that looked more like His. I owe a lot of this progress to the ministry He brought into my life at that time, YoungLives. It's a ministry for teen moms, and it has changed me from the inside out. I also served with them my first two years of college. My world revolved around these girls and their children. Our mission was to simply live life with them. They are walking with the world, we are walking with Jesus. When we step in and grab hands with these girls, they begin to see a whole new way of life. JESUS. Gosh, God taught me so much through that ministry. He taught me how to love. Heck, I had custody of a baby for a few weeks while things were figured out with his family. SACRIFICIAL LOVE. 

So...the sanctification and the edification of my sinful self continues. As it will until the day I wake up in the land of Glory. But in the last few months, my heart is being pulled in a whole new direction. A direction that I have never had any interest of. A direction that was NOT a part of my plans. 

MISSIONS

Obediently, I am beginning to say okay. But I am hard headed, so the Lord knows it will always be a process for me to change directions. But the first big move is in just a few weeks. Dec 25-Jan 7...overseas I go. My mom and I are headed to Cambodia. Taking care of people in the jungle. No electricity. No running water. No english. No modern medicine. Just the power of Jesus and a group of 40 medical professionals. When you are brought to a place where there is no choice but to lean on the Lord for your strength, is when you are the strongest. 

Pray for us. Please! Pray for our entire group. For the eternal weight of what we are doing to be felt every minute we are treating patients. Pray that my heart is prepared to face extreme hurt, as I know there will be children we send home to die. There is only so much a tent clinic in the jungle can do. That seems awful to even say or think, but it's true. Pray that the Lord will continue to ruin the plans I have made.