When you truly let the Lord be in control

From the moment I first held that baby in my arms at the orphanage in Bolivia, I had this unexplainable hard and fast tug at my heart. Before I even had any idea that he was sick, I loved him so much and had this strange feeling that I would see him again. I didn't know what to make of it. I had no intent of coming back to Bolivia, I am not in a place in my life right now that I can adopt- so what was it that was telling me I was not done there? That would be Jesus, my friends. It was a little while later, just before we were getting ready to leave, that a volunteer began to explain the tragic news they had recently received from the hospital. This little tiny baby had a heart defect that would be fatal without surgery. In that moment,  the volunteer Hannah knew  what needed to be done, but the logistics of getting it all figured out was daunting. Just to give you an idea of what was going on at that point…

1. The orphanage had a malnourished and very sick baby on their hands in need of one on one care. That's difficult to come by when you have a dozen or more babies living in one place.  

2. Figuring out who would do it and when the surgery would happen was going to be a logistical nightmare. The healthcare system there is nothing like ours here. 

3. Thousands of dollars needed to be raised. You don't have the money up front- you will be turned away. 

4. Baby D had a lot of weight to gain between that point and when surgery needed to happen. And he had to be virus free. 

The outlook was grim and my heart broke has I listened to all of this. We weren't hopeless, but we were  being realistic about what was ahead. As I have said before, I left the orphanage praying so hard for this baby. What could we do? How could I help? I had a trip to Haiti planned for the month of May- but I had not committed yet. When I first spoke with the orphanage about returning for his surgery- they were thrilled about the idea! But again, they were very realistic about it. The odds of getting a surgery date for right when I got there were slim. There was so much that needed to be done in those short few weeks, and we had no control over when surgery would happen. My heart was split between excitement for returning, but I also very cautious in realizing there were so many details to come through in order for this to be a reality. 

Being thousands of miles away as we wait and wait and wait, has been the most difficult thing for me. Anyone who knows me at all knows that my type A- I want answers now personality- does not love situations like this one. But now looking back at the last few weeks, it has been the sweetest time with the Lord, because the only thing I could do, literally the only thing, was pray. So I did. Constantly. I prayed specifically for the issues I outlined above. I had my bible study praying, my close friends and family, I posted updates. The power of prayer was all I had- and that is truly all I needed. It's all we ever need. The Lord was in total control, I was told to sit and wait. So while I sat with NO CONTROL, this is what the Lord did…

1. A volunteer, Linnea, stepped up and started caring for Daniel one on one. She and the baby moved into a separate room which limited his exposure to the other babies. She diligently began working towards getting him healthy. She sought out suggestions from myself and others as to the how much he should eat, how often, and what things she should be watching for regarding his heart issues. This girl is a rockstar. Every minute of her everyday has been given to this boy, and because of that he is thriving. He is no longer malnourished and he has received the best possible care. Linnea leaves in a few days, but man has she served our Father and Casa de Amor well. 

2. Linnea has also been on the ball about getting him to every appointment scheduled. One after the other, it felt like it was just a lot of circles, until last week- WE GOT A SURGERY DATE!!! I had already bought my plane tickets a couple weeks ago. My time there was set in stone and I knew when I bought them that there was a decent chance that surgery may not even happen during the month I would be there. It was a leap of faith, but one I had an overwhelming peace about taking. I fly in May 8…SURGERY IS SCHEDULED FOR MAY 9! Gkjsdhflkdafgiuhgaskdjlfh what. It was exactly what we had hoped for, but not at all what we expected. 

3. Fundraising…the Lord has been nothing short of faithful. Churches in Bolivia stepped up. Donors in the states stepped up. Last I heard, it wouldn't hurt for a little more to be raised, but this was not going to be a deal breaker. (In my last update there are details of how you can donate if you feel called to do so!)

4. Daniel is within a pound of where he needs to be for surgery. And the hospital gave us a date, so that tells me they are confident he will be where he needs to be. He has also gotten over his most recent virus. Again, these things can be attributed to how incredible our God is in providing someone so wonderful to care for this baby. 

So there you have it. I had no control, God had it all, and look what has come of it. We are less than two weeks away from surgery. Lots- both good and bad- could still happen, so please continue to pray diligently over all of this. But I have never been in such awe of our God's faithfulness. From my worldly perspective, there was SO much to worry about. From the Lord's eternal perspective, there was nothing to worry about. And there never is. 

When I let my flesh take over my thoughts, I begin to do the what ifs…what if he gets sick in the next 10 days? What if there are major complications? What if the unimaginable happens? 

When I let the Holy Spirit consume my thoughts, I still realize those "what ifs" exist, but I place them at the feet of Jesus, and get to trust Him. There's so much freedom in walking with the Lord. I am called to serve, but free to set aside all anxieties and worry. In fact I am commanded to set aside all anxieties and worry.

"...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:34

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." --Matthew 11:28

"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." --Psalm 55:22

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." --1 Peter 5:6-7 

Again, and again, and again we are told not to be consumed with worry. When I look back on the last few weeks and the prayers that the Lord has answered- I see why, it's obvious. But I also realize there will be times when it is not so obvious. So today I will rejoice. 

This is what happens when you truly let the Lord be in control!

Daniel & the Lion's Den

By the grace of God, things are moving forward for me to return to Bolivia in just a few weeks. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around that baby boy. On Friday I got a concerning message from volunteers at the orphanage- Daniel had become sick again, he had been taken out of the orphanage so that his compromised immune system wasn't being exposed to the other babies, and they were leaving for the hospital to have him admitted. My heart sunk and I seriously contemplated jumping on a plane that night. Tears streamed down my face as soon as I heard what was happening. I really cannot put into words how much love I have for this baby I have only spent a few hours of my life with.

I contacted the sweet volunteer who is currently caring for Daniel. Despite how crummy of a situation this baby is in, he sure is loved by so many people right now. God continues to flex His muscles and show us how strong and mighty He is. I was especially blessed with the ability to Skype with Linnea (the volunteer) and Daniel, before they left for the hospital. Again- so many tears. And I really am not a cryer. 

That night I heard from Linnea again. They did not end up admitting Daniel and simply sent him home with some neb treatments. The orphanage, Linnea, and myself are all very concerned he has come down with pneumonia again. Pneumonia in any baby is not good, but especially not in a baby with a compromised heart to start with. But when you are in a country with very little resources to go around, you don't receive any sort of treatment, much less a hospital admit, unless you are extremely sick. I was astonished to hear that not even a chest X-ray or lab work was done. So Daniel is back at one of the orphanage but is receiving one on one care from Linnea. He is in great hands, and Linnea and I both are learning to continually trust the Lord through every moment. We both know that the Lord promises to provide and we know that the Lord has already numbered each of our days. So if Daniel is meant to have this surgery, it's going to happen. And if he isn't suppose to have it, then God is still just as good, faithful, and loving. 

So we also got word last week that Daniel must weigh 6 kg (13.2 lbs) in order to have the surgery. He is currently 4.8 kg (10.5 lbs)- so the munchkin has got some work to do. I was slightly discouraged by these numbers. But in my heart I felt as though there was something significant about them. I then decided to open my bible to Daniel 6 just to see what I might come across…I had forgotten that one of my all time favorite stories can be found here- Daniel and the Lion's Den! Irony? NO. God's sovereignty? YES. 

Most of us know the story by heart. Daniel was a faithful man of the Lord, so when he was told he would be persecuted for worshipping God, it didn't shake him.

"…because he was faithful, and no error or fault was found in him. Then these men said, 'We shall not find any ground against this Daniel unless we find it in connection with the law of his God." Daniel 6:4-5

Daniel was sentenced to death. Thrown into a den of lions to be viscously eaten and destroyed. 

"Then the king commanded, and Daniel was brought and cast into the den of lions. The king declared to Daniel, 'May your God, whom you serve continually, deliver you!' Daniel 6:16

But just the opposite happened. The mouth's of the lion were kept shut, Daniel's life was saved, and God was glorified. 

"My God sent sent his angel and shut the lions' mouths, and they have not harmed me, because I was found blameless before him; and blameless before you, O king, I have done no harm." Daniel 6:22

Why was his life saved? Because he simply trusted the Lord. 

"…so Daniel was taken up out of the den, and no kind of harm was found on him, because he had trusted in his God." Daniel 6:23

So simple, yet so profound. He trusted in his God. There are many ways I can parallel this biblical story of Daniel with the current story we are living out with baby Daniel. First, this world tends to look much like a lion's den. There is no promise of safety or security. Heck, we see that here in the states. Elementary schools, movie theaters, and military bases are shot at and innocent lives are lost. Where are we suppose to escape the lion's den of this world? Baby Daniel is in a third world country, without a mom or dad. But the same God who rescued big Daniel, rescued baby Daniel. He was taken in by a loving orphanage. Many people have been placed in his life to care for him, love him, and provide the medical attention that he needs. Has he escaped the lion's den? No. Honestly, none of us have or will on this side of heaven. Yet, we have been rescued. For those of us who believe in Christ Jesus, we are saved! For those of us who know and are walking with Jesus, we know that we must simply trust in our God to close the mouth's of the current-day lions of this world. When we trust in our God, we don't just survive the lion's den, we thrive in it. We live a life that is Kingdom altering and God glorifying- just like the Daniel of the bible lived his life. 

So what about this helpless six month old baby? I pray that Daniel's rescue story continues. I pray that he gets big enough and strong enough to have this life saving heart surgery in just a few weeks. I pray that we get the $1400 we are still in need of for the surgery to happen. But even if one or all of these things don't happen…Daniel has still been rescued. He is loved by people who love the Lord. So he has most definitely been rescued. The mouth's of the lions of have been shut, therefore, he is rescued. 

I have been in awe of the love and support from friends and family back here in the states inquiring about this baby, and wanting to know what they can do to help. Most importantly, please continue to pray for all of us involved as we continue to work towards getting his surgery scheduled. Pray that he will fight off this bug he has now and that he will gain the needed weight. Pray that we will trust in our God each and every moment. 

If you feel called to give financially towards surgery and medical expenses, there are a couple ways you can do that. This link, http://www.casadeamor.org/supporting will take you to the account directly if you would like to donate online. Or you can mail a check to the address below. Please put a note with it stating it is for Daniel specifically. Also, if you do send a donation by either route- please shoot me a message in some form or fashion so that I can tell Glenda (our sweet lady that processes all the donations) to be on the look out for it. Please make checks out to GOAL/Casa de Amor. 

GOAL/Casa de Amor

PO Box 357

Collierville, TN 38027

USA

As for me, the plan is to still take off as soon as finals finish and to stay in Bolivia for the month of May to care for Daniel. We are praying the timing works out that he can have surgery right when I get there. But we cannot even get a surgeon assigned to the case until that other $1400 is in. Things work very differently there than they do here. It has been a difficult few weeks. Daniel is always on my mind, and I wish I was there. But as I continue to press into the Lord during this season, He continues to remind me that I am not needed anywhere. He chooses to use me. And for that I am abundantly blessed.