It's a 24/7 job!

So as many of you probably saw, we busted the little guy out of the hospital yesterday! I was thrilled to get him out of the same room with rotavirus. However, rotavirus baby sure was a cutie. Actually, not sure I have come across a Bolivian baby that wasn't absolutely adorable. 

Very similar to the US, when the discharge words are uttered, it's still a few hours before you are actually out the door. The Lord continues to provide opportunities to allow me to practice patience. I used to pray for patience, but now I have realized that the Lord knows I am weak in this area. And He's not going to hand any particular fruit of the spirit to me on a silver platter. No. Instead, He is going to continually put me in situations where I have no choice but to be patient. Then maybe, just maybe, one day when it is a choice- I'll naturally act on it. 

We got home and then almost immediately had to turn around to get him to an appointment back in town. However, with Bolivia being…well…Bolivia, truck drivers had decided they wanted to protest about something and they did a phenomenal job of blockading the road starting right about where we live. It was quite the scene. Very peaceful- but there was no getting by in any sort of vehicle. People were having a great time in the middle of the blockaded road though. At one point I looked outside and kid's had started a soccer game in the middle of the street, using the blockades of rocks and thorns as their goals. That made me smile. This culture is so day-to-day that they can make anything out of any situation. We Americans are so futuristic that we would stomp our feet and whine over a blockaded road that was ruining our oh so important plans. But Bolivians choose to play soccer. It's great. 

After a little bit of walk, a trufi ride, and a taxi ride, we made it to the pediatrician and back. The clinic we went to was really nice. I felt like I was back in the states. It was kinda strange actually. Then the doctor spoke decent english. So then I really wondered if we had teleported home. Another difference in this culture- the doctor sat and talked to me for long time before he even looked at the baby. He wanted to hear everything I had to say, what the plans had been for surgery, what we were hoping for, ect. I now understand why each appointment takes forever, but I loved it. He even said he was going to call and speak with the surgeon personally. He thinks next week may be a good possibility as long as we continue doing well health wise and gain a weeee bit more weight! 

He sent me home with lots of meds. Every few hours I have meds due. I'm feeling right at home when it comes to my nursing world. However, my pyxis is my backpack; and my patient is in my care 24/7. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I am tired- really tired. But it's a good tired. Matt Chandler said something at church one time to the affect of, if you aren't going to bed at night exhausted from serving the Lord- then your priorities are not in line. For me, serving the Lord has never looked quite like this. Being the full time caregiver to a sick child in a third world, is honestly not how I have thought I would spend the month of May in 2014. But I love it! I can already see so many areas that the Lord is doing work in me. And I am a broken person, so He has a lot to do. 

Today, we are relaxing. The baby is sleeping (since he prefers to do that during the day instead of at night), and I am enjoying the quiet day. I am not one to like days like this. Just sitting around. But today I am treasuring this time. Because this is truly a 24/7 job. 

My dad returns to the states tomorrow, so please be praying for his travels. It's been a really neat experience having him here. Never thought I would get to travel the world with each of my parents in a matter of months. Please continue to pray for Daniel's weight, that his lungs stay clear, and that we can bypass logistics to get surgery scheduled soon! 

Mother's Day & Answered prayers

Mom and I in Cambodia 

Mother's Day has never been a big deal in our family. My mother is so practical that she never wanted to celebrate a hallmark-created holiday. But this year I look at this day a little differently. I am 20 years old and single. I am by no means a mother. As much as I cannot wait for the day that I am one, I am more than willing to wait for the man the Lord intends to be by my side if and when that day is to come. However, I would say that I have definitely had the opportunity to get a small taste of motherhood. Both the joys and the hardships. The hardships are hard, but the joys outweigh them all.

My mom always told me I have always had such a crazy natural motherly instinct. I love one of the stories she would tell me about when I was 2 years old and a friend of hers had a baby that was a few months. Still in diapers myself, I wanted to change and feed the baby. My mom said it honestly kind of freaked her out that her toddler already had such outward signs of motherly instincts. When my brother was born when I was 4 years old, she says I immediately started changing, feeding, and carrying this tiny infant. Other parents thought she was nuts for allowing her preschooler to carry the newborn around. So when my sister was born when I was 6, she practically already had a live in nanny. 

It's neat to see where the Lord instills passion and drive in us from a very young age. For each of us it is different and for some it isn't so obvious so soon. But as I look at the course of my life so far, I love that the Lord has continually allowed me to walk down a path of serving Him that has consisted of caring for little ones. 

Being a mom is the most selfless act in life that I think exists. At least I know this is the case because I was raised with a mother who was this way. Many lot I was crazy for what I am doing now, but I didn't think twice about it. Because I was raised by a woman who would do the exact same thing. If there's a need, and the Lord puts my mom in a position to help, she fills the need. No matter how big or how small. She never puts herself first, ever. 

Because my mom and I are practically the same person, I too agree that today is a semi-silly holiday. But I am thankful for a day to be reminded of how incredible of a mother I have. As I sat in the hospital today, I looked around at all the mothers I was surrounded by. New ones each day come and ask me if Daniel is my baby, and I explain the situation- that I am not in fact his mother. But there's still this sweet connection between myself and these other moms. One of them responded with, "but for now you get to be his mom." It was almost like she was saying, I realize he isn't your child. But we understand how hard it is to sit next to a sick baby's bedside. We are all in this together. The mom's like to talk to me quite a bit, and I often have trouble responding. But I have learned here that I can build a lot of trust and sweet friendships off of a simple smile, or sharing of a diaper, or holding their baby so they can run to the restroom. There's lots of ways to show love outside of words. And within the community of these tough moms, there's a lot of love! Because that's just how moms are built- to love. Especially mine!

No huge changes with the baby today. He was definitely more alert and wanting to play! Great signs for sure. Still a potential for discharge tomorrow. He's eating like a champ and even gained .1 kg today. Doesn't sound like much, but we rejoice in any amount going in that direction! 

Last thing I have to share. God did a REALLY cool thing today. I have been praying a lot that He would somehow intervene regarding the language barrier. The Lord did amazing things when I was here back in March with breaking down walls when it came to communication, but this time around has been a lot harder. Advocating for a sick baby is difficult in and of itself, then throw on top of it that you can't really speak to those taking care of the child. For example, I noticed there were signs his IV infiltrated the other day. I kept trying to explain it but it just wasn't working. I texted one of my trusty nurse friends back home and had her google the translation for, "I think his IV has infiltrated because….." So it's been tough. Today, they admitted a baby to our room with rotavirus. A super contagious and nasty virus. The last thing we need around our already immunocompromised heart baby. So I quickly turned into the crazy pedi parent that the nurses talk about at the nurses station. I just couldn't let this be okay. So I was running around like crazy trying to talk to anyone who would listen, and again, no one really understood. Then all of a sudden this sweet medical student/intern approached me and asked in PERFECT ENGLISH, how she could help me. I almost cried. So much weight and stress was lifted in that moment. We chatted and she said she would do everything she could to get him moved. But the point here is- God answers prayers. Always. Sometimes no answer is an answer. But He doesn't ignore us. I've been crying out for help with the language barrier. Today, He provided. And more than I could have ever imagined. 

So we do not lose heart

Today was a simply sweet day. This morning I spent some solid time with the Lord, hoping to better equip myself for the day. I ended up in 2 Corinthians, reading a passage I have highlighted over and over again, but this morning I read it with a whole new perspective.

"So we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction are preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look to the things not that are seen but are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

I read it once, and then again, and then again and I think 25 more times after that. I don't usually just sit and meditate on one short passage for so long, but this morning it was exactly where the Lord wanted me to be. To remember to not lose heart. To realize that this pain, these struggles, are light and momentary. The glory that is to come is not even comprehensible by our worldly minds. We aren't able to grasp the weight of eternity, but we trust what our God tells about it, because we have hope in Jesus.

Before I left for the hospital, I read a message from a girl who has been following my journey. I don't know her and she doesn't know me, but she has sat in the room I am in now. She has done the back and forth between baby cribs of two sick little ones. She's been here. She told me something this morning that was so refreshing to hear. Do small things with great love. Sometimes, most times, that's all the Lord asks of us. Its us that takes what God says and turns it into our own. Again, the Lord being so faithful in encouragement from community back home.

So I went to the hospital with a much better frame of mind than I went to bed with last night. I was prepared for no progress to be made today and for no questions to be answered. So I sat there and just held that baby boy all day long. Now that it's been three days, he knows when I am there that being held is an option. So if he gets put down or if I walk across the room to attend to the other baby- then he whimpers the most pathetic cry I have ever heard. The fact that he cries out for me honestly touches my heart more than anything. It's my prayer that one day when he is older when he understands what his childhood looked like, that he will not care what my name was or any other volunteer that comes before or after me, but that he will understand the love of his Savior through the arms that carried him through this season of life.

I think he was definitely feeling better today. I even got him to smile and laugh a bit! We cuddled lots. My most favorite thing is to put him on my chest. I can feel his little heart beating and him hearing the sound of mine calms him down. I praise the Lord for every beat that heart of his pumps.

Later in the afternoon, our CDA director came up to the hospital. She was able to track down the doctor so that I could talk to him. I was able to ask about a few things that would help us move along towards discharge. Another huge difference in healthcare here than home. At home, our patient's discharge planning begins the moment they are admitted. We are always looking to and planning for what things will look like at home. Culture is not like that here. You do not plan ahead. Not even really a few hours ahead, much less days. So anyways, I asked that he increase his formula amounts and that we switch from IV to PO antibiotics. The doctor agreed that would be fine and even nodded his head when I asked about likely discharge on Monday! Yay!!

I left the hospital a little early today and ended up having the most incredible and refreshing evening. Jennifer, one of her sons, and I went to the plaza in Cochabamba. They hold something there every Saturday called "kid-washing." The very poor villages in the mountains will come down with there small children to receive a bath because there is no running water where they live. This may be the one bath the kids get for the week or even month. When I got there I was greeted by tons of gringos (what we call white people). Missionaries, orphanage volunteers, hospital volunteers- pretty much every white believer in the city was right there on the plaza :) We had great conversation while we bathed little ones. I always love hearing how the Lord brings different people to different places. One of the girls there just graduated from A&M. Crazy!

From there we went to dinner with lots of friends. There is a family that lives here and currently serves as one of the homes for Casa De Amor. They have six children of their own ranging from 4-16 years old, and have 3 additional Casa babies living with them. So my dad, myself, Kayla, Cameron, Hannah & Lindsey plus two additional babies from the orphanage, our CDA director Jennifer, her husband Jake, and their 4 kids, all had dinner together! It was the most beautiful chaos. A room full of so many people in so many walks of life, with multiple different cultural backgrounds, all here for one purpose….to be the hands and feet of Christ. We spent the night telling great stories and talking a lot about the plans we had made that the Lord had completely changed- and here we all are in Bolivia! Community is not limited to where you are comfortably living. The Body of Christ is everywhere, and you appreciate it in a whole new way when you aren't in your comfortable atmosphere.

So today there were a lot less tears and a lot more smiles. Friends at home, your prayers are being felt- seriously. Please continue praying for the specifics I listed last night, but also that we would be able to get surgery rescheduled ASAP. If anything, that is our biggest concern right now. I am only here so long, and the surgeon comes and goes from Canada. Lots of logistics. But God, fortunately, doesn't need a perfect schedule. His ways are perfect with no schedule at all.

No where to go but to Jesus

Life is hard. We all know this. And for each of us it is hard in different ways, and it changes from season to season. But regardless- it's hard. When you realize the true devastation of our sin, when you understand the reality of the brokenness of this world, you can't go anywhere but to your knees. That was me today. It's miserable and it hurts, but it's also a very sweet place to be in with the Lord. I am in a foreign country where I cannot communicate well. I am surrounded by very sick babies that would not be dying of what they are dying of if we were in one of the many prestigious children's hospitals back home. I see standards of care that would shut a hospital down at home in no time, but here it's all they have and all they know. I spent my day holding a baby, who I love more than anything in this world, and who's time clock is not of your average 7 month old. I hope I don't sound like I am giving up, because oh man I don't give up- ever. But I realize that a lot of stars have to line up in a precise order in a short amount of time for this baby to make it to and through his life saving heart surgery. Now it's nothing our God cannot handle, there's no doubt in my mind there. God's ability does not worry me.  

The two other babies in our room got discharged this morning. Minutes later a tiny little girl was brought into the room. Very malnourished and weighed right at 6 pounds. I noticed she had very long hair for a newborn. That was because I wasn't looking at a newborn. I was looking at an 11 month old. Yes, those numbers are what you read. 6 lbs & 11 months. She was left at the hospital. No parents. So now I am sitting in a room with two orphaned and very sick children. The night before I left I ran to kroger at almost midnight to grab pacifiers and some cheap baby toys. This was why the Lord gave me that urge. I quickly went through my bag and looked for anything I brought extra of to give to her. So all day I went between beds. My hands are so chapped from constant hand sanitizing. At one point they were both crying and I couldn't move quick enough between cribs. That's when I started crying too. So I grabbed my phone, went into iTunes, and shuffled worship music. If we were all going to be crying, we would at least be praising God while we did it. Of course though, I would then cry harder. So I sat at his bedside, he gripped my finger tight, and I got to business with the Lord. The staff doesn't come around much, so the babies and I were left alone during these few hours of just sadness, yet praise. 

I am just a whirlwind of so many feelings right now. Furious that things are not going like planned. Frustrated that medical care here is what it is. Broken by the fact that these babies don't even have parents. I really don't think I have ever been so sad before. Sure, really tough stuff has happened in my life, but there's also been some sort of horizon to look out on at some point. Today there felt like there wasn't one. Until my sweet friend, who has spent a ton more time than me doing third world, medicine sent me this… 

Also hear the Lord as He tells you that He alone has the power to save this earthly life in spite of any circumstance. He also has the wisdom and choice to take them for eternity even when everything is perfect. Just do one small thing at a time and keep telling Jesus all of your frustrations. I usually sum up my prayers into "please" "thank you" and "WTF?!" Feel free to use a lot of WTF prayers. I'm right there with you. It is always an exercise in frustration doing medicine abroad.

Those words hit my heart right where it was needed. So while I am still frustrated, upset, and even furious about some things- I have so much to be praising Jesus for. Both big and small. 

1) I am being used to love a baby who needs love.

2) I am blessed to be serving with the woman who started Casa de Amor. She is incredible. And the three times I called her in tears today, her calming voice was all I really needed in that moment. 

3) I have 3 critical care nurses back home that have been put in my life, all of which have no idea how much they are doing for me through this journey.

4) I have a God that I get to share my frustrations with. I get to yell and scream and cry, and at the end of the day know that I am still loved. 

So I am thankful. For every hard moment. Because in the end, this journey is going to refine me in so many ways. Think about the people you are closest to in your life. It's the people who have not just experienced the mountain tops with you, but they were also there for the dark valleys. When you come out of those valleys, you have a whole new relationship with one another. We serve a God that desires that same relationship with us. Today I am in a valley, and I have a God who is right here with me. I cannot wait to see what my relationship with Him looks like after this. 

Specific prayer needs: we need him to maintain his oxygen saturations above 90%. He has his moments but it's not consistent. He has lost weight since being in the hospital. And his lungs sound like junk. All of this needs to go away for surgery to take place.

We are in the storm

My dad and I made it to Bolivia safe and sound! No travel issues whatsoever, so praising the Lord for that! We had some time in Santa Cruz so I some how convinced my dad that we should take a taxi into town. All I told the driver is, "Will you take us somewhere that has breakfast?" Dad was SO nervous and I was SO comfortable. There's just an element to third world travel that no longer scares me. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely aware of whats going on here, realizing my white skin and blonde hair practically spell out T-A-R-G-E-T, but I really don't worry about much. My dad is here for a week, and I really think it is going to be so good for him! When you spend 25 years in a place like Flower Mound, Texas…your eyes are opened up real quick to what the majority of the rest of the world looks like when you are thrown into the middle of it. You have to overcome the initial state of shock, and realize that God's presence is just as much here as it is in our Bible belt home town.

As soon as we got to Cochabamba I couldn't get my arms around that baby fast enough, so I raced to the children's hospital. Surgery for tomorrow is definitely cancelled. The little man has pneumonia, and it's frowned upon to preform open heart surgery on a kid who's respiratory system is compromised. The moment I laid eyes on him, the tears began to flow. He is so sick. And honestly, I am so scared. As I sat there with him for hours today, all I could think about are parents who do this day in and day out. I thought about my cousins, Shaun and Jennifer- who's baby was diagnosed with leukemia at 9 months. They did this watch-your-baby-helplessly in the hospital gig for over a year. And some parents do it even longer. And some end up losing their children altogether. I know these things, I see these things at work at home, but I have never been on the other side. No, I did not birth this baby, and there's nothing official saying that he belongs to me. And he doesn't- he belongs to the Lord. But the love I have for him is just unreal. Anyone who knows me knows I love kids, but when I hold this baby it's like this whole world stops. Nothing else matters to me but him. What I do know for sure, is love like this is not of our own doing, but is an outpouring of the love our Father has for us.

So to sit there, watching him struggle to breathe, knowing time is ticking with this heart of his, and it is the worst feeling I have ever felt. And my heart truly goes out to parents who do this day in and day out. He is in a room with two other babies. Both of their mom's were there today. So when I arrived, they asked why Baby D never has parents there with him. Through tear filled eyes and broken spanish, I told them he doesn't have any. Both of their hearts sunk and they said something to the effect of, "well you get to be mom for a while, he is lucky for that." They were very sweet. And while the idea of 3 sick babies all in one room is not a good one, it was oddly comforting to see other moms also with their sick babies. I love that we are innately designed to build community with one another.

So as far as what tomorrow, or even the next few weeks holds- I have no idea. I won't get into the nitty-gritty of the concerns I have for him from a medical standpoint regarding the care he is receiving. It's not that people are unkind or don't care…the Bolivian culture is one of the most loving I have ever experienced. But they simply have crappy healthcare. Almost all due to the fact that they have next to nothing for resources. So obviously, hospitals in Bolivia are a complete contrast from ours, except for one thing…they are understaffed and overcrowded. We see it at home, and I saw it today despite being on a different continent. But when I was here in March, the Lord really did a lot in my heart and taught me a ton because he continually threw me into scenarios in which I don't have a choice but to trust Him. He is sovereign. We should always live by this fact, but I know for the next few weeks I will be pressing into that truth like no other. 

I don't have much else to report as of now. I cannot believe the number of people back home praying for this baby! The Lord has flexed His muscles in some mighty ways these last few weeks. No doubt He will continue to do that, even in the storm. But please pray I won't be so distraught that I miss what He's doing, how He is blessing me, and what He is teaching me. I ask anyone who reads this, please go to bed praying for this sweet baby. There's truly no power like that of prayer. Right now, we are in the storm. But we are promised the storms of this life will pass. Thank you, sweet Jesus. 

When you truly let the Lord be in control

From the moment I first held that baby in my arms at the orphanage in Bolivia, I had this unexplainable hard and fast tug at my heart. Before I even had any idea that he was sick, I loved him so much and had this strange feeling that I would see him again. I didn't know what to make of it. I had no intent of coming back to Bolivia, I am not in a place in my life right now that I can adopt- so what was it that was telling me I was not done there? That would be Jesus, my friends. It was a little while later, just before we were getting ready to leave, that a volunteer began to explain the tragic news they had recently received from the hospital. This little tiny baby had a heart defect that would be fatal without surgery. In that moment,  the volunteer Hannah knew  what needed to be done, but the logistics of getting it all figured out was daunting. Just to give you an idea of what was going on at that point…

1. The orphanage had a malnourished and very sick baby on their hands in need of one on one care. That's difficult to come by when you have a dozen or more babies living in one place.  

2. Figuring out who would do it and when the surgery would happen was going to be a logistical nightmare. The healthcare system there is nothing like ours here. 

3. Thousands of dollars needed to be raised. You don't have the money up front- you will be turned away. 

4. Baby D had a lot of weight to gain between that point and when surgery needed to happen. And he had to be virus free. 

The outlook was grim and my heart broke has I listened to all of this. We weren't hopeless, but we were  being realistic about what was ahead. As I have said before, I left the orphanage praying so hard for this baby. What could we do? How could I help? I had a trip to Haiti planned for the month of May- but I had not committed yet. When I first spoke with the orphanage about returning for his surgery- they were thrilled about the idea! But again, they were very realistic about it. The odds of getting a surgery date for right when I got there were slim. There was so much that needed to be done in those short few weeks, and we had no control over when surgery would happen. My heart was split between excitement for returning, but I also very cautious in realizing there were so many details to come through in order for this to be a reality. 

Being thousands of miles away as we wait and wait and wait, has been the most difficult thing for me. Anyone who knows me at all knows that my type A- I want answers now personality- does not love situations like this one. But now looking back at the last few weeks, it has been the sweetest time with the Lord, because the only thing I could do, literally the only thing, was pray. So I did. Constantly. I prayed specifically for the issues I outlined above. I had my bible study praying, my close friends and family, I posted updates. The power of prayer was all I had- and that is truly all I needed. It's all we ever need. The Lord was in total control, I was told to sit and wait. So while I sat with NO CONTROL, this is what the Lord did…

1. A volunteer, Linnea, stepped up and started caring for Daniel one on one. She and the baby moved into a separate room which limited his exposure to the other babies. She diligently began working towards getting him healthy. She sought out suggestions from myself and others as to the how much he should eat, how often, and what things she should be watching for regarding his heart issues. This girl is a rockstar. Every minute of her everyday has been given to this boy, and because of that he is thriving. He is no longer malnourished and he has received the best possible care. Linnea leaves in a few days, but man has she served our Father and Casa de Amor well. 

2. Linnea has also been on the ball about getting him to every appointment scheduled. One after the other, it felt like it was just a lot of circles, until last week- WE GOT A SURGERY DATE!!! I had already bought my plane tickets a couple weeks ago. My time there was set in stone and I knew when I bought them that there was a decent chance that surgery may not even happen during the month I would be there. It was a leap of faith, but one I had an overwhelming peace about taking. I fly in May 8…SURGERY IS SCHEDULED FOR MAY 9! Gkjsdhflkdafgiuhgaskdjlfh what. It was exactly what we had hoped for, but not at all what we expected. 

3. Fundraising…the Lord has been nothing short of faithful. Churches in Bolivia stepped up. Donors in the states stepped up. Last I heard, it wouldn't hurt for a little more to be raised, but this was not going to be a deal breaker. (In my last update there are details of how you can donate if you feel called to do so!)

4. Daniel is within a pound of where he needs to be for surgery. And the hospital gave us a date, so that tells me they are confident he will be where he needs to be. He has also gotten over his most recent virus. Again, these things can be attributed to how incredible our God is in providing someone so wonderful to care for this baby. 

So there you have it. I had no control, God had it all, and look what has come of it. We are less than two weeks away from surgery. Lots- both good and bad- could still happen, so please continue to pray diligently over all of this. But I have never been in such awe of our God's faithfulness. From my worldly perspective, there was SO much to worry about. From the Lord's eternal perspective, there was nothing to worry about. And there never is. 

When I let my flesh take over my thoughts, I begin to do the what ifs…what if he gets sick in the next 10 days? What if there are major complications? What if the unimaginable happens? 

When I let the Holy Spirit consume my thoughts, I still realize those "what ifs" exist, but I place them at the feet of Jesus, and get to trust Him. There's so much freedom in walking with the Lord. I am called to serve, but free to set aside all anxieties and worry. In fact I am commanded to set aside all anxieties and worry.

"...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." --Matthew 6:34

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." --Matthew 11:28

"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." --Psalm 55:22

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." --1 Peter 5:6-7 

Again, and again, and again we are told not to be consumed with worry. When I look back on the last few weeks and the prayers that the Lord has answered- I see why, it's obvious. But I also realize there will be times when it is not so obvious. So today I will rejoice. 

This is what happens when you truly let the Lord be in control!

Daniel & the Lion's Den

By the grace of God, things are moving forward for me to return to Bolivia in just a few weeks. I cannot wait to wrap my arms around that baby boy. On Friday I got a concerning message from volunteers at the orphanage- Daniel had become sick again, he had been taken out of the orphanage so that his compromised immune system wasn't being exposed to the other babies, and they were leaving for the hospital to have him admitted. My heart sunk and I seriously contemplated jumping on a plane that night. Tears streamed down my face as soon as I heard what was happening. I really cannot put into words how much love I have for this baby I have only spent a few hours of my life with.

I contacted the sweet volunteer who is currently caring for Daniel. Despite how crummy of a situation this baby is in, he sure is loved by so many people right now. God continues to flex His muscles and show us how strong and mighty He is. I was especially blessed with the ability to Skype with Linnea (the volunteer) and Daniel, before they left for the hospital. Again- so many tears. And I really am not a cryer. 

That night I heard from Linnea again. They did not end up admitting Daniel and simply sent him home with some neb treatments. The orphanage, Linnea, and myself are all very concerned he has come down with pneumonia again. Pneumonia in any baby is not good, but especially not in a baby with a compromised heart to start with. But when you are in a country with very little resources to go around, you don't receive any sort of treatment, much less a hospital admit, unless you are extremely sick. I was astonished to hear that not even a chest X-ray or lab work was done. So Daniel is back at one of the orphanage but is receiving one on one care from Linnea. He is in great hands, and Linnea and I both are learning to continually trust the Lord through every moment. We both know that the Lord promises to provide and we know that the Lord has already numbered each of our days. So if Daniel is meant to have this surgery, it's going to happen. And if he isn't suppose to have it, then God is still just as good, faithful, and loving. 

So we also got word last week that Daniel must weigh 6 kg (13.2 lbs) in order to have the surgery. He is currently 4.8 kg (10.5 lbs)- so the munchkin has got some work to do. I was slightly discouraged by these numbers. But in my heart I felt as though there was something significant about them. I then decided to open my bible to Daniel 6 just to see what I might come across…I had forgotten that one of my all time favorite stories can be found here- Daniel and the Lion's Den! Irony? NO. God's sovereignty? YES. 

Most of us know the story by heart. Daniel was a faithful man of the Lord, so when he was told he would be persecuted for worshipping God, it didn't shake him.

"…because he was faithful, and no error or fault was found in him. Then these men said, 'We shall not find any ground against this Daniel unless we find it in connection with the law of his God." Daniel 6:4-5

Daniel was sentenced to death. Thrown into a den of lions to be viscously eaten and destroyed. 

"Then the king commanded, and Daniel was brought and cast into the den of lions. The king declared to Daniel, 'May your God, whom you serve continually, deliver you!' Daniel 6:16

But just the opposite happened. The mouth's of the lion were kept shut, Daniel's life was saved, and God was glorified. 

"My God sent sent his angel and shut the lions' mouths, and they have not harmed me, because I was found blameless before him; and blameless before you, O king, I have done no harm." Daniel 6:22

Why was his life saved? Because he simply trusted the Lord. 

"…so Daniel was taken up out of the den, and no kind of harm was found on him, because he had trusted in his God." Daniel 6:23

So simple, yet so profound. He trusted in his God. There are many ways I can parallel this biblical story of Daniel with the current story we are living out with baby Daniel. First, this world tends to look much like a lion's den. There is no promise of safety or security. Heck, we see that here in the states. Elementary schools, movie theaters, and military bases are shot at and innocent lives are lost. Where are we suppose to escape the lion's den of this world? Baby Daniel is in a third world country, without a mom or dad. But the same God who rescued big Daniel, rescued baby Daniel. He was taken in by a loving orphanage. Many people have been placed in his life to care for him, love him, and provide the medical attention that he needs. Has he escaped the lion's den? No. Honestly, none of us have or will on this side of heaven. Yet, we have been rescued. For those of us who believe in Christ Jesus, we are saved! For those of us who know and are walking with Jesus, we know that we must simply trust in our God to close the mouth's of the current-day lions of this world. When we trust in our God, we don't just survive the lion's den, we thrive in it. We live a life that is Kingdom altering and God glorifying- just like the Daniel of the bible lived his life. 

So what about this helpless six month old baby? I pray that Daniel's rescue story continues. I pray that he gets big enough and strong enough to have this life saving heart surgery in just a few weeks. I pray that we get the $1400 we are still in need of for the surgery to happen. But even if one or all of these things don't happen…Daniel has still been rescued. He is loved by people who love the Lord. So he has most definitely been rescued. The mouth's of the lions of have been shut, therefore, he is rescued. 

I have been in awe of the love and support from friends and family back here in the states inquiring about this baby, and wanting to know what they can do to help. Most importantly, please continue to pray for all of us involved as we continue to work towards getting his surgery scheduled. Pray that he will fight off this bug he has now and that he will gain the needed weight. Pray that we will trust in our God each and every moment. 

If you feel called to give financially towards surgery and medical expenses, there are a couple ways you can do that. This link, http://www.casadeamor.org/supporting will take you to the account directly if you would like to donate online. Or you can mail a check to the address below. Please put a note with it stating it is for Daniel specifically. Also, if you do send a donation by either route- please shoot me a message in some form or fashion so that I can tell Glenda (our sweet lady that processes all the donations) to be on the look out for it. Please make checks out to GOAL/Casa de Amor. 

GOAL/Casa de Amor

PO Box 357

Collierville, TN 38027

USA

As for me, the plan is to still take off as soon as finals finish and to stay in Bolivia for the month of May to care for Daniel. We are praying the timing works out that he can have surgery right when I get there. But we cannot even get a surgeon assigned to the case until that other $1400 is in. Things work very differently there than they do here. It has been a difficult few weeks. Daniel is always on my mind, and I wish I was there. But as I continue to press into the Lord during this season, He continues to remind me that I am not needed anywhere. He chooses to use me. And for that I am abundantly blessed.